It's been a little over two months since I've made my journey back to the States. I think about moments of my trip every day. I knew while I was planning to return home that the two months I spent in San Cristobal truly changed my life. However, it's taken me until know to begin realizing the greatness of the extent to which I am changed.
I learned so very much while I was abroad. At first, I felt that my experience could be summed up by a few key words: music, beaches, friendships, learning, and - most importantly - rice! When I planned to study abroad this past summer, I never imagined that I'd be in the Galapagos Islands. I pictured myself somewhere in Europe or Australia; I had no idea that people lived on these bio-diverse islands I had only heard about because of studying evolution in high school. Going there, I was told to have no expectations. I thought that I didn't, especially because I was coming with almost no information on what I'd be doing. However, I realize now that wasn't the case.
I never knew how much I had expected. I thought that the island would be extremely undeveloped, other than a few hotels and restaurants for tourists. I imagined palm trees everywhere, crystal clear water, and white sandy beaches. I pictured myself walking down a dirt road to the only school on the island, teaching a mix of general music, beginning band classes, and learning how to play indigenous instruments. I assumed I would come back fluent in Spanish and equipped with newly-found confidence in myself in regards to teaching. What I imagined couldn't have been further from my actual experience.
As my plane was landing in San Cristobal, I looked out of the window and saw the landscape of a deserted wasteland; on one side of the plane was the ocean, on the other was only dead, grey brush. I remember thinking to myself, "What have I done? How am I going to spend eight weeks/fifty-six days/a sixth of my year in this place...by myself?" An hour later, I was walking into my house, greeted with smiles and an overload of rapid Spanish by Albert and Conquelo. I felt awful because I didn't learn more of the language before I left. Again, I felt like it was going to be the longest eight weeks of my life. A few hours later, we went for a walk around the town with one of the staff members, Ariel. When I saw the town, the lobos, the beaches, and the people, I felt better; I knew I'd survive. I didn't know how long it would take to get adjusted, but I felt like I would make it.
The first full day there, I went to "El Centro de Arte" to meet Alvita. She was two hours late to the meeting, which was my first glance into island time. I knew it would be a rough adjustement. However, she was excited to have me and welcomed me with open arms. Every time I worked with her I felt like I was okay; she is a Godly woman, and His love definitely shines through her. I got into my routine with her for a few weeks, and I was so happy with my placement. I loved the kids, they were excited, and we worked well together despite the language barrier. As you've read before, I experienced the true power of music, and I felt as if I could accomplish anything.
Then I went to Santa Cruz and Isabela. I had a wonderful weekend, and then came back to getting switched to the high school. I've talked about that a lot previously; you have read my raw emotions throughout the process. To recap shortly, I was terrifed. I was terrified of failing myself, failing the kids, and failing the community for the parade. It got better for a while, and then ended on what still seems like the worst way possible.
So yes, this trip wasn't what I expected. Up until a few weeks ago, I didn't feel like I had a difference; I felt like I failed at showing these kids what music can be. Maybe I was too hard on the students. Maybe I wasn't equipped for the challenge. Maybe I should have said from the beginning that I couldn't handle being at the high school. Maybe I should have been more diligent in insisting help from the music professor. Maybe I should have allowed for the kids to have more of a voice. Maybe I should have expected less..
There are so many things I would want to do differently now, but what's done is done. This is what happened, this is what was in His plan for me, and I learned from it. I came into this experience with a few personal goals in mind. First of all, I wanted to come back recharged, taking a break from my most insane year to date, and be focused on what is really important as I entered my last year of undergrad. My other main goal was to return with confidence in myself. I always second-guess myself; I'm timid in what I saw because I'm afraid of saying the wrong thing. My biggest fear is judgement and failure, and I've let that get in the way of my musicianship and teaching. I thought that having to figure out how to successfully teach in another language would help me to be confident in what I'm doing when I returned home; if I could be successful with not knowing how to say something in Spanish, I could definitely do it in my own classroom! Thankfully, those two goals have been accomplished, even if it has happened differently than I imagined. Not only that, I have come away from this experience with more than I thought possible.
So, here it is. Here's what have learned - the funny and serious, the good and the bad:
i learned I hate the suction-cup texture of octopus tentacles. Ew.
I learned that fish can be cooked in the acid of lime juice. Thank you to whoever created ceviche!!
I learned that I like snorkeling. A LOT.
I learned that running isn't so bad after making yourself do it for two weeks.
I learned that the Ecuadorian postal service is awful. A-W-F-U-L.
I learned that after three week, you become accustomed to your surroundings. In my case, this was so much so that I began getting annoyed at tourists constantly snapping pictures and trying to touch the sea lions!
I learned about rice. All kinds of rice. Pretty much, rice is life. (Side note: I am now consuming rice by choice. It only look me six weeks...)
I learned just how important instrumentation is. Thirteen snare drums and one xylophone is bad. Very, VERY bad.
I learned that teenagers are the same everywhere; you cannot force them to do something they aren't invested in.
I learned the importance of being prepared for anything, and, more importantly, how to think on your feet when you aren't prepared.
I learned that people respect honesty, even when it's being honest that you don't know something or can't handle what is placed in front of you. Asking for help is okay.
I learned just how difficult respect is to earn.
I learned that having down time is necessary. You have to make time for yourself. Saying no is okay; people will get over it. Making time for family, for friends, for relationships, for yourself is more important than saying yes. Someone else will say yes, and they will likely do a fine job. Being overwhelmed doesn't help anyone or anything. You only have so much time with the people in your life, and they deserve your full attention whenever you're with them. Never be so busy that you can't give them that.
I've learned that failing isn't the end of the world. It's okay to have a goal and not accomplish it in that class, that day, that week, that year, that lifetime. Failures lead to evaluation, and evaluation and reflection lead to growth.
I learned that the message and the progress is more important than the product. Never concentrate so hard on the product that you forget this, even when outside pressures do everything possible to convince you otherwise.
I learned that your students are capable of understanding so much more than you think. Never have low expectations or you will crush their potential. Challenge them. Let them fail. They'll fight for what's truly worth fighting for as long as you keep your eye on the message.
I've learned the value of patience.
I've learned that when teaching, you need to make sure you are always aware of your students' environments, cultures, and customs. The more you know them, the more successful they will be.
I learned that truly embracing another culture is difficult. It takes a long time to get adjusted, and it's actually more difficult to come back home. Perspective is everything, and there are many things that our society has all wrong..
I could do on and on, but I'll stop there. Let's call this "Recapping the Experience." Stayed tuned for "Now What?"
I learned so very much while I was abroad. At first, I felt that my experience could be summed up by a few key words: music, beaches, friendships, learning, and - most importantly - rice! When I planned to study abroad this past summer, I never imagined that I'd be in the Galapagos Islands. I pictured myself somewhere in Europe or Australia; I had no idea that people lived on these bio-diverse islands I had only heard about because of studying evolution in high school. Going there, I was told to have no expectations. I thought that I didn't, especially because I was coming with almost no information on what I'd be doing. However, I realize now that wasn't the case.
I never knew how much I had expected. I thought that the island would be extremely undeveloped, other than a few hotels and restaurants for tourists. I imagined palm trees everywhere, crystal clear water, and white sandy beaches. I pictured myself walking down a dirt road to the only school on the island, teaching a mix of general music, beginning band classes, and learning how to play indigenous instruments. I assumed I would come back fluent in Spanish and equipped with newly-found confidence in myself in regards to teaching. What I imagined couldn't have been further from my actual experience.
As my plane was landing in San Cristobal, I looked out of the window and saw the landscape of a deserted wasteland; on one side of the plane was the ocean, on the other was only dead, grey brush. I remember thinking to myself, "What have I done? How am I going to spend eight weeks/fifty-six days/a sixth of my year in this place...by myself?" An hour later, I was walking into my house, greeted with smiles and an overload of rapid Spanish by Albert and Conquelo. I felt awful because I didn't learn more of the language before I left. Again, I felt like it was going to be the longest eight weeks of my life. A few hours later, we went for a walk around the town with one of the staff members, Ariel. When I saw the town, the lobos, the beaches, and the people, I felt better; I knew I'd survive. I didn't know how long it would take to get adjusted, but I felt like I would make it.
The first full day there, I went to "El Centro de Arte" to meet Alvita. She was two hours late to the meeting, which was my first glance into island time. I knew it would be a rough adjustement. However, she was excited to have me and welcomed me with open arms. Every time I worked with her I felt like I was okay; she is a Godly woman, and His love definitely shines through her. I got into my routine with her for a few weeks, and I was so happy with my placement. I loved the kids, they were excited, and we worked well together despite the language barrier. As you've read before, I experienced the true power of music, and I felt as if I could accomplish anything.
Then I went to Santa Cruz and Isabela. I had a wonderful weekend, and then came back to getting switched to the high school. I've talked about that a lot previously; you have read my raw emotions throughout the process. To recap shortly, I was terrifed. I was terrified of failing myself, failing the kids, and failing the community for the parade. It got better for a while, and then ended on what still seems like the worst way possible.
So yes, this trip wasn't what I expected. Up until a few weeks ago, I didn't feel like I had a difference; I felt like I failed at showing these kids what music can be. Maybe I was too hard on the students. Maybe I wasn't equipped for the challenge. Maybe I should have said from the beginning that I couldn't handle being at the high school. Maybe I should have been more diligent in insisting help from the music professor. Maybe I should have allowed for the kids to have more of a voice. Maybe I should have expected less..
There are so many things I would want to do differently now, but what's done is done. This is what happened, this is what was in His plan for me, and I learned from it. I came into this experience with a few personal goals in mind. First of all, I wanted to come back recharged, taking a break from my most insane year to date, and be focused on what is really important as I entered my last year of undergrad. My other main goal was to return with confidence in myself. I always second-guess myself; I'm timid in what I saw because I'm afraid of saying the wrong thing. My biggest fear is judgement and failure, and I've let that get in the way of my musicianship and teaching. I thought that having to figure out how to successfully teach in another language would help me to be confident in what I'm doing when I returned home; if I could be successful with not knowing how to say something in Spanish, I could definitely do it in my own classroom! Thankfully, those two goals have been accomplished, even if it has happened differently than I imagined. Not only that, I have come away from this experience with more than I thought possible.
So, here it is. Here's what have learned - the funny and serious, the good and the bad:
i learned I hate the suction-cup texture of octopus tentacles. Ew.
I learned that fish can be cooked in the acid of lime juice. Thank you to whoever created ceviche!!
I learned that I like snorkeling. A LOT.
I learned that running isn't so bad after making yourself do it for two weeks.
I learned that the Ecuadorian postal service is awful. A-W-F-U-L.
I learned that after three week, you become accustomed to your surroundings. In my case, this was so much so that I began getting annoyed at tourists constantly snapping pictures and trying to touch the sea lions!
I learned about rice. All kinds of rice. Pretty much, rice is life. (Side note: I am now consuming rice by choice. It only look me six weeks...)
I learned just how important instrumentation is. Thirteen snare drums and one xylophone is bad. Very, VERY bad.
I learned that teenagers are the same everywhere; you cannot force them to do something they aren't invested in.
I learned the importance of being prepared for anything, and, more importantly, how to think on your feet when you aren't prepared.
I learned that people respect honesty, even when it's being honest that you don't know something or can't handle what is placed in front of you. Asking for help is okay.
I learned just how difficult respect is to earn.
I learned that having down time is necessary. You have to make time for yourself. Saying no is okay; people will get over it. Making time for family, for friends, for relationships, for yourself is more important than saying yes. Someone else will say yes, and they will likely do a fine job. Being overwhelmed doesn't help anyone or anything. You only have so much time with the people in your life, and they deserve your full attention whenever you're with them. Never be so busy that you can't give them that.
I've learned that failing isn't the end of the world. It's okay to have a goal and not accomplish it in that class, that day, that week, that year, that lifetime. Failures lead to evaluation, and evaluation and reflection lead to growth.
I learned that the message and the progress is more important than the product. Never concentrate so hard on the product that you forget this, even when outside pressures do everything possible to convince you otherwise.
I learned that your students are capable of understanding so much more than you think. Never have low expectations or you will crush their potential. Challenge them. Let them fail. They'll fight for what's truly worth fighting for as long as you keep your eye on the message.
I've learned the value of patience.
I've learned that when teaching, you need to make sure you are always aware of your students' environments, cultures, and customs. The more you know them, the more successful they will be.
I learned that truly embracing another culture is difficult. It takes a long time to get adjusted, and it's actually more difficult to come back home. Perspective is everything, and there are many things that our society has all wrong..
I could do on and on, but I'll stop there. Let's call this "Recapping the Experience." Stayed tuned for "Now What?"