Class is supposed to begin at 2pm every day. Over the past five weeks, I've learned that island time is even worse than Southern time, and I've adjusted to that fact. Typically, we start rehearsal around 2:15pm. On Thursday, though, the professor didn't show up until 2:45pm. I teach by myself anyway, so this wouldn't be a big deal except for the fact that he is the only person in the entire school that has the key to the room where the instruments are kept. I did everything I could in that 45 minutes of waiting; I didn't want to waste the kids' time because of something I couldn't control. We eventually got in, and we used instruments for the remainder of the rehearsal.
After class, the professor and I were talking, and he told me that he didn't like the rhythms I had written for the tenors. I told him, once again, that I had never done this before and honestly had very little knowledge, so I am open for any and all suggestions; he could rewrite the part and help me teach! He responded by saying, "No, it's okay. I'm not using any of this once you leave anyway."
Yes. That happened.
Then, to make matters worse, he didn't show up at all on Friday to rehearsal. Another professor had to tell me this at 3:30pm.
Needless to say, I was frustrated. I put so much time and effort into coming up with a product that the kids and the audience would enjoy, and it's not even going to be used. I felt like being there was a total waste of everyone's time. Not only that, but I had struggling to gain the respect of the kids, worsened only by the professor showing up, and, again, it seemed like it was all for nothing.
After a good cry, a talk with my mom, and lots of praying for patience, I realized that it isn't all a waste. Personally, I've gained confidence in myself that I never thought I could have. Sure, the professor doesn't like it, but the kids do. I also figured out how to successfully teach in another language. I've let go of my "I can do this myself" and "always say yes to please people" and "it has to be perfect" mentalities. Before even having my first teaching job, I've realized the importance of recognizing when students are burnt out for the day and just need a good, small rep and some fun before ending rehearsal, verses repping everything they've learned that day until they get it right in the large context. I've learned to listen to the students because their ideas can be so much greater than mine, especially when we work together. I've learned that the best rehearsals are usually the ones where you, as the teacher, speak as little as possible. I've learned the power of experiencing and repeating so the students discover the product on their own instead of me drilling it out of them. I've learned the power of speaking softly instead of trying to raise my voice over my students. I've learned that sometimes you have to stick to your set consequences, even if it breaks your heart (have I mentioned I hate being the mean teacher?).
As for the kids, they're learning. They like the music, they're coming up with ways to make what I wrote more musical (like using dynamics to enhance a phrase) before I even get to teaching it, and they're having fun. Maybe they'll actually play the music some day. Maybe what I'm doing with them will have some impact on them later. Maybe they'll be the next person in charge of the marching band and will be more open to new ideas. I'll probably never know. All I know is that, despite what the professor believes, they're having fun and making music. If I can make it click for one or two of them before I leave, that will be good enough for me.